Shit On A Stick

What The Crap Was That Crap?

Ok, so I started this post last night, and it was originally called “Come On, STAT!”  But an evening of sleep and a morning of surreptitiously scanning the InterWebs while at work have helped me figure a couple of things out.

Everywhere you look this morning, people want to hang this loss on Amar’e.  And let’s not sugarcoat things; Amar’e had a shit game.  He didn’t play very well at all on either end of the floor, didn’t get to the line, and fouled out (!) after doing so twice all season.  That was bad.  But let’s be quite clear; this was a team loss.  The starters were mostly crap.  The bench was crap in the second half.  Alvin’s coaching left something to be desired.  The Suns lost this game.  How, you ask?

Let’s start at the start–with the starters.  With the exception of the third quarter, the starters shot the ball like absolute garbage.  As a group they were 7-of-27–that’s right, seven-of-twenty-seven in the first half.  They got on track in the third quarter and shot 11-of-18, which is to say that they took nine fewer shots in the quarter than they did in the first 24 minutes.  Not surprisingly, that meant they won the quarter (29-26) and took a two-point lead into the fourth.  Unfortunately, momentum seems to be something of a foreign concept as they proceeded to crap out a 6-of-14 4th quarter shooting performance.  Ugh.  All in all, that adds up to a ghastly 24-of-59 (40.7%).  Now, that certainly doesn’t mean they just pissed away the game; Hill and STAT had 8 boards apiece, and Richardson had 10.  They were fighting for the ball and grabbing boards since they couldn’t put it in the bucket.  It was just bad, bad shooting.

How about the bench?  They had a solid first half, shooting 10-of-17.  That was good.  Kept ‘em in the game and went on those runs they needed.  The second half?  4-of-15.  FAIL.

Let’s talk about rebounding.  The Suns, if you can believe it, outrebounded the Blazers for the game 47-44, including–are you ready for it?–SEVENTEEN offensive rebounds.  The Suns ORB% (Offensive Rebound Percentage) was 33.3, meaning they snatched a third of the available boards when they were on offense.  Now, I’m no math whiz, but that means there were 51 available rebounds when the Suns were on offense.  Now that is a padload of missed shots.  And as long as we’re talking about rebounding, let’s talk about Camby (and his weird, amazing mustache.  Seriously, what’s going on with that thing?  It’s very nearly Hitleresque, only if Hitler’s mustache had had a child with John Waters’ mustache.  Yeah, that’s it…it’s a Hitler-Waters hybrid mustache).  A lot of the talk leading up to this game was that the Suns needed to keep Camby off the glass.  I disagreed.  I thought they’d survive just fine, no matter how many rebounds Camby got, as long as they kept the other guys off the glass.  Every Blazers player got at least 3 rebounds.  Camby got 17 in a typical Camby game (4 pts. and 17 boards).  But every Blazer was getting to the glass.

Ghetto hoodrat punches her 2-year in the mouth on the city bus ...

Well fuck, just when you think you’ve heard it all right? Well, wonders never cease to amaze me in the land of BB.net, not sure why I thought any tips sent in would be any different. I will start off by saying that I’m dying to punch this bitch in the mouth, and her lawyer – but we’ll get there in a second.

25-year old Erica Ryan of Boston, MA has been arrested on charges of assault and battery on a child causing injury after (allegedly) she punched her 2-year old in the mouth on the city bus for not eating. She was also heard saying to her baby, “Little bastard, you got one more chance [to eat]“ - reported the passengers.  The video from the bus proves that this bitch did in fact punch her baby in the mouth, so hard this his head popped back from the force. What a fucking cunt.

Passengers then intervened, showing their concern for the child and this hoodrat replied, “Nobody is going to tell me how to be a parent.” Really Bitch, because these passengers obviously give more of a shit for your child then you do and you should take all the fucking tips you can get. I’ll tell you how to be a parent you waste of fucking air, you don’t punch your 2-year old in the fucking mouth!

Now this part of the story I love — the group of other bus riders refused to let this bitch get away. The bus stopped and they held this bitch and the baby until the cops showed up, not letting her escape. That is what I call a bunch of fucking heroes. Bravo.  The cops were eventually able to separate the woman and the baby, placing her under arrest and getting the baby (who had dried blood on his mouth) to the hospital.

Now, here’s another part of the story that is so fucked up. Mommy Dearest went before the judge with her lawyer. The judge had first set her bail at $25,000. Her lawyer got it reduced to only $500 because there was no way that this broke bitch could come up with what the lawyer called “excessive” bail. The lawyer is also questioning  whether the child sustained any injuries. Um, doesn’t fucking matter you ambulance chaser. She still punched her baby in the mouth after calling him a bastard! Injuries or not, this cuntrag belongs in jail!

Holy shit on a stick – fuck you Adelio! The judge ended up releasing her on the $500 bail with the exception that she is not to have contact with her son. He’s in the care of her father while all this gets panned out.  My question is, if you can punch your baby in the fucking face in public – what is happening when no one is looking? Let’s hope for this little man’s sake that this bitch wakes the fuck up and starts listening to how other people tell her how to be a parent.

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